1) Karan Johar: I’m not saying Ranveer does shit films, but truly, the last good thing he was in, was Deepika Padukone.
2) Karan Johar: Arjun Kapoor once upon a time, you used to be fat and ugly, well done on the weight loss! You dropped those kilos faster than Deepika dropped her dating standards.
3) Karan Johar: In 2 States Arjun plays a punjabi boy who falls for a hot south Indian girl. So basically he plays Boney Kapoor.
4) Karan Johar: Ashish Shakya is so black, his mother screened him for ebola when he was born.
5) Ashish Shakya: Now before I start, I want to thank everyone on the panel for coming out today and Karan for not.
6) Ashish Shakya: Parineeti Chopra is not here tonight because we told her she’d be fu%*ed by 10 dudes in front of 4,000 people. Karan Johar is here tonight because we told him he’d be fu%*ed by 10 dudes in front of 4,000 people.
7) Ashish Shakya: Abish Mathew is so unattractive, he was an altar boy for 7 years and not one priest molested him.
8) Ashish Shakya: Ranveer, you did an ad for Durex – it was the first time I saw a condom being endorsed by an STD
9) Karan Johar: (On Raghu Ram), you look like Vishal Dadlani got chemo.
10) Raghu Ram: The last time I saw so many ch**ts in one place, I was auditioning them.
11) Raghu Ram: Ranveer, I’m not saying Arjun is getting sick of you but soon he’s going to leave you for Virat Kohli.
12) Rohan Joshi: Ranveer is such a pervert, that photograph of Deepika Padukone in the Times Of India was taken by him.